Difference between revisions of "Jack McGourty"
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'''Jack McGourty''' is an Associate Dean at [[SEAS]] and Adjunct Professor in [[Continuing Education]]. Jack McGourty wakes up at 3am to do yoga. Jack McGourty receives (and responds to) 300 to 500 emails per day. Jack McGourty is an asshole.<br> | '''Jack McGourty''' is an Associate Dean at [[SEAS]] and Adjunct Professor in [[Continuing Education]]. Jack McGourty wakes up at 3am to do yoga. Jack McGourty receives (and responds to) 300 to 500 emails per day. Jack McGourty is an asshole.<br> | ||
| − | Jack McGourty teaches the IntroEngineering Class at Columbia called Design Fundamentals Using Advanced Computation, or [[ | + | Jack McGourty teaches the IntroEngineering Class at Columbia called Design Fundamentals Using Advanced Computation, or [[Gateway]] for short. Jack speaks with his eyes closed. It isn't because of the lighting in the room where he teaches. It's because he wants to look at himself and can't find a mirror. Jack tries to make jokes. The problem is that jokes are supposed to be funny. Jack, by definition, cannot be intentionally funny.<br> |
Jack cares about the world around him. Just kidding. He says he does, though. On your first day of class, he will point out the window towards [[Harlem]]. You will see red bricks making up buildings. Jack will explain to you for about 20 minutes about why Columbia's first-year engineering class needs to fix all wrong and inequality in the world, starting with Harlem. He brings a tear to his own eye he is so emotional. He then reminds you that you're "incapable idiots" then gives you a project to apply your incapability and idiocy to. This project may be really fascinating. You may be designing a playground for disabled kids in that godforsaken wasteland Jack dubs Harlem. You may be designing rain boots for use in the shower. These boots will clearly need to be different from rain boots, as water falling from the sky and water falling from a shower head are different things.<br> | Jack cares about the world around him. Just kidding. He says he does, though. On your first day of class, he will point out the window towards [[Harlem]]. You will see red bricks making up buildings. Jack will explain to you for about 20 minutes about why Columbia's first-year engineering class needs to fix all wrong and inequality in the world, starting with Harlem. He brings a tear to his own eye he is so emotional. He then reminds you that you're "incapable idiots" then gives you a project to apply your incapability and idiocy to. This project may be really fascinating. You may be designing a playground for disabled kids in that godforsaken wasteland Jack dubs Harlem. You may be designing rain boots for use in the shower. These boots will clearly need to be different from rain boots, as water falling from the sky and water falling from a shower head are different things.<br> | ||
Jack McGourty's hair changes every week. He is a metamorphmagus. You may find this interesting and want to take this class to learn the ways of the sweater vest. You don't. Jack's class is required to graduate from Columbia Engineering. You should probably take up a job at Subway or transfer to [[UC Berkeley]] or [[Brown University|something]].<br> | Jack McGourty's hair changes every week. He is a metamorphmagus. You may find this interesting and want to take this class to learn the ways of the sweater vest. You don't. Jack's class is required to graduate from Columbia Engineering. You should probably take up a job at Subway or transfer to [[UC Berkeley]] or [[Brown University|something]].<br> | ||
Revision as of 21:08, 21 April 2008
Jack McGourty is an Associate Dean at SEAS and Adjunct Professor in Continuing Education. Jack McGourty wakes up at 3am to do yoga. Jack McGourty receives (and responds to) 300 to 500 emails per day. Jack McGourty is an asshole.
Jack McGourty teaches the IntroEngineering Class at Columbia called Design Fundamentals Using Advanced Computation, or Gateway for short. Jack speaks with his eyes closed. It isn't because of the lighting in the room where he teaches. It's because he wants to look at himself and can't find a mirror. Jack tries to make jokes. The problem is that jokes are supposed to be funny. Jack, by definition, cannot be intentionally funny.
Jack cares about the world around him. Just kidding. He says he does, though. On your first day of class, he will point out the window towards Harlem. You will see red bricks making up buildings. Jack will explain to you for about 20 minutes about why Columbia's first-year engineering class needs to fix all wrong and inequality in the world, starting with Harlem. He brings a tear to his own eye he is so emotional. He then reminds you that you're "incapable idiots" then gives you a project to apply your incapability and idiocy to. This project may be really fascinating. You may be designing a playground for disabled kids in that godforsaken wasteland Jack dubs Harlem. You may be designing rain boots for use in the shower. These boots will clearly need to be different from rain boots, as water falling from the sky and water falling from a shower head are different things.
Jack McGourty's hair changes every week. He is a metamorphmagus. You may find this interesting and want to take this class to learn the ways of the sweater vest. You don't. Jack's class is required to graduate from Columbia Engineering. You should probably take up a job at Subway or transfer to UC Berkeley or something.
Jack could be a vampire. You should treat him as such.
