Difference between revisions of "IThief"
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Revision as of 11:16, 19 November 2013
The title of this article, iThief, begins with a capital letter due to the technical limitations of WikiCU.
The iThief, or iBandit, is the person or persons responsible for selectively robbing Columbia students of their iconic Apple products. Thefts of iPhones are more or less a national phenomenon due to the popularity of the device and its high fencibility.[1][2] However, the iThief is a uniquely Columbian character, having gained notoriety in late 2011 by refusing to steal anything other than iPhones. He stopped several muggings, sometimes at gunpoint, upon learning that his potential victims carried cell phones from other companies. [3]
The incidents took on additional drama due to Public Safety's clueless characterization of his loot as I-Phones, IPhones and I-phones (but never iPhones, until 2013).
The iThief has left no public clues about whether he is an Apple fanboy or hater. While he may simply have a strong aversion to Android phones, his actions could also be calculated to harm the market share of iOS. His moral code could result from either a craving for iPhones or a perception of Apple users as elitists who deserve to be mugged. His relationship with Segata Sanshiro (a Japanese man who similarly assaults Nintendo fans on behalf of Sega) is unclear.
The iThief was a minor character in the opening scene of V118. He is currently at large.
Aborted capers
| Date | Location | Loot | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 11/21/2011 | Broadway & 114th | n/a | Demanded an iPhone; left when he was told there was no iPhone. [1] |
| 11/12/2011 | Broadway & 114th (brownstone lobby) | n/a | Gracefully returned two smartphones upon learning they were not iPhones, then left. [2] |
| 10/25/2011 | Broadway & 116th (inside Pinnacle) | 15" Macbook Pro w/SSD | Grabbed a laptop, but returned it to a student when caught. in comments |
Greatest capers (incomplete list)
| Date | Location | Loot | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 11/19/2013 | Riverside Dr. & 112th | unspecified model iPhone | Jumped out of the fucking bushes! [3] |
| 10/25/2011 | Broadway & 114th | unspecified model iPhone | With a partner, this time! [4] |
References
</references>
[Category:Morningside Heights]
[Category:People]
