Ivy League

The Ivy League is an athletic conference comprising eight private institutions of higher education located in the northeastern United States.

Member institutions

• Brown University
• Cornell University
• Dartmouth College
• Harvard University
• Princeton University
• University of Pennsylvania
• Yale University
• Us

Ivy "Should-be's"

There are several universities which many believe are equal to the Ivies in endowment and academic achievement (and surpass many significantly in terms of such indicators of excellence like the Nobel Prize). These include such schools as the University of Chicago, Stanford University, and MIT. Of course, regardless of what prestige whoring students from those schools and their ill-informed parents say, these schools are not officially Ivies. However, many would gladly trade Dartmouth, Penn, and Cornell for Stanford, Chicago, and MIT straight up.

History

No one can really agree on how or when the Ivy League formed because it would be incredibly douchey to waste one's time researching this and writing about it (or at least telling anyone you did).

Columbia's status within the Ivy League

Clearly, the Ivy League is separated into two distinct tiers. The upper (more prestigious) Ivies, consisting of Harvard, Yale and Princeton, and the lower (slightly less prestigious) Ivies, made up of Brown, Dartmouth, Cornell and Penn. Columbia is harder to place. While it maintains an acceptance rate in the vicinity (and lower than) the upper Ivies, it shares its SAT range with the lower Ivies. This is largely due to the admission committee's de-emphasis of SAT scores relative to other prestigious universities. Columbia also has a historical legacy similar in relevance to those of the upper Ivies, but an endowment similar to the lower Ivies. It's hard to place Columbia at this point: it is clearly stuck between the two tiers, but which side it leans more towards is debatable. However, Columbia maintains a tradition of following popularity relative to that of NYC, and therefore, Columbia's reputation is likely to improve throughout the forseeable future - barring a backlash from the current economic recession.

Jokes

The cliff

A student fan from each Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and Brown are standing on a cliff together during football season. The Princeton man runs forward and yells, "This is for the Tigers!". Not to be outdone, the Brown man runs forward and yells "This is for the Bears!". Aghast at what just happened, the Yale and Harvard men look at each other in shock. The Yale man shrugs, as if to say "hey why not". The Harvard man scoffs and looks at the Yale man like hes an idiot. Then the Yale man proceeds to push the Harvard man off the cliff proclaiming "This is for all mankind".

Light bulbs

• How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

• How many Princeton students does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and the other to call the butler for some martinis.

• How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Hanover doesn't have electricity.

• How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the light bulb and one to crack under the pressure.

• How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seventy-six. One to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.

• How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. New Haven looks better in the dark.

• How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but he gets six credits for it.

Or: Nine. One to change the light bulb, and eight to file their transfer apps.

• How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eleven. One to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.