Difference between revisions of "Princeton University"
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| − | Animosity between Columbia and Princeton first dates to the institutions' very origins. When Princeton (which only acquired its regal name as an afterthought - it was originally known, in rather less than a coup of creativity, as the "College of New Jersey") was established as an outpost of Presbyterian thought in America, Church of England officials freaked and decided to gain the upper hand by planting an Anglican center of higher learning in a far more desirable location. Hence [[King's College]], Columbia's predecessor, was born. While neither school's original religious affiliation really means much anymore, Columbians continue to be horrified by Princeton's less | + | Animosity between Columbia and Princeton first dates to the institutions' very origins. When Princeton (which only acquired its regal name as an afterthought - it was originally known, in rather less than a coup of creativity, as the "College of New Jersey") was established as an outpost of Presbyterian thought in America, Church of England officials freaked and decided to gain the upper hand by planting an Anglican center of higher learning in a far more desirable location. Hence [[King's College]], Columbia's predecessor, was born. While neither school's original religious affiliation really means much anymore, Columbians continue to be horrified by Princeton's less exciting environs. |
Later in the colonial period, Princeton had the temerity to reject the application of [[Alexander Hamilton]], who went on to study at King's. Hamilton eventually returned Princeton's favor by firing a cannon at Nassau Hall during the Battle of Princeton in the Revolutionary War when the British refused his order to surrender the building. Within minutes of Hamilton's devastating bombardment, they trooped out, hands in the air. | Later in the colonial period, Princeton had the temerity to reject the application of [[Alexander Hamilton]], who went on to study at King's. Hamilton eventually returned Princeton's favor by firing a cannon at Nassau Hall during the Battle of Princeton in the Revolutionary War when the British refused his order to surrender the building. Within minutes of Hamilton's devastating bombardment, they trooped out, hands in the air. | ||
Revision as of 23:38, 24 May 2013
Princeton University is the Anti-Columbia. Think of it as the Ivy League Anti-Christ. They stand for everything we hate:
- New Jersey (There's a reason we call Princeton the deodorant[1] in the armpit of America)
- Open space
- Elitist "eating clubs" (yes, imagine having to be accepted into a club just to eat!)
- Athletic success
- WASPy pedigrees
- Suburban indolence
- Country-club air (F. Scott Fitzgerald, an alumnus, called it "the pleasantest country club in America," and he didn't mean it as a compliment.)
- A strong emphasis on undergraduate education
- Upper-level douchiness
- "Kids who know the difference between this season and last season's J.Press catalogs, and will bore you with the details."[2]
History
Animosity between Columbia and Princeton first dates to the institutions' very origins. When Princeton (which only acquired its regal name as an afterthought - it was originally known, in rather less than a coup of creativity, as the "College of New Jersey") was established as an outpost of Presbyterian thought in America, Church of England officials freaked and decided to gain the upper hand by planting an Anglican center of higher learning in a far more desirable location. Hence King's College, Columbia's predecessor, was born. While neither school's original religious affiliation really means much anymore, Columbians continue to be horrified by Princeton's less exciting environs.
Later in the colonial period, Princeton had the temerity to reject the application of Alexander Hamilton, who went on to study at King's. Hamilton eventually returned Princeton's favor by firing a cannon at Nassau Hall during the Battle of Princeton in the Revolutionary War when the British refused his order to surrender the building. Within minutes of Hamilton's devastating bombardment, they trooped out, hands in the air.
Princeton subsequently graduated Aaron Burr, who was so upset at the inferior quality of his education that he killed Hamilton in a jealous fit of rage. This was one of many reasons that the Philolexian Society declared war on Princeton in 1987.[3]
Playwright Tony Kushner ridiculed Princeton during his 2004 Class Day address. Admittedly, that's not exactly very hard to do.
According to an even more reliable source, Princeton's response to other Ivy League schools' recent increases in financial aid was "Aid...isn't that what gay people get?"
Princeton "University"
How Princeton got to be as prestigious as Harvard and Yale is mysterious, given its academic situation. The school gives an extremely high priority to undergraduate education, but has not the physical resources/intellectual capacity to harbor academics which extend beyond the undergraduate level. Hence, Princeton lacks a business school, medical school, and law school[4]; what little graduate "research" that goes on takes place almost entirely in the humanities. The pride of graduate academics at Princeton is the Woodrow Wilson School of International and Public Affairs, but it can hardly be considered as more than a pale imitation of Columbia's SIPA.
