Notable Foods On Campus

Ranking of the best foods in each dining hall on campus.

JJ's

Overnight Oats

• Tropical
• Chocolate
• Strawberry Cheesecake
• Surprisingly great for those drunken munchies.

“Smoothies”

• more like a slushie
• Strawberry Banana, Blueberry Pomegranate, and Mango
• heard through the grapevine that they taste great with vodka
• It is rumored that Columbia Dining repurposes the old smoothie syrup mix to make their beverage offerings more diverse. One such repurposing consists of pure syrup diluted with water into the cursed form of John Jay's “Blueberry Pomegranate Juice.” Diabetes galore.

Wings

• Elite with honey mustard

Dino nuggets

• rare offering

Quesadillas

• Notable combos: Fried egg + normal quesadilla for the ultimate breakfast (or hangover) experience

Omelets

• Occasionally served with a side of eggshells

Beyond Burger (without the bun)

• Healthy alternative to the traditional beef/turkey burgers served

Red Velvet Pancakes

• cream cheese frosting

Boba Pancakes

• In an attempt at American+Asian fusion, tapioca balls and purple boba syrup were mixed with traditional American pancakes to create a

Milkshakes

• 80% of the time, not frozen. Way too milky.

Events:

• Harry Potter
• Oscars Red Carpet
  • Popcorn galore
  • Charcuterie board-- Ritz Crackers + Kraft Cheese
  • Chocolate covered strawberries

Ferris

Bananas

• When have you not stolen a handful and forgotten about your bananas or your Carman windowsill?

Overnight Oats

• Introduced in Spring 2020, accompanies the Greek yogurt and canned fruit bar in the mornings
• Initially excessively watered down but gradual improvements were made.
• in contrast to their hot oatmeal,
• LOok at that gorgeous sludge

Alternative Milk Varieties

• Oat Milk by Oatly
• On occasion subtly placed in backpacks and mysteriously

Cheesecakes

• A good old classic New York style cheesecake,
• Rich, fluffy, and thick. High demand means you’ll need to get there quick.
• The lemon cheesecake was especially decadent.

Tea bags (Bigelow)

• Has the absolute best variety out of all the dining halls
• Green Tea Pomegranate, Vanilla Chai, Peppermint, Earl Grey, Lemon, Black

Themed

• BAO
• Game of Thrones
• Desserts: The absolute richest cheesecake, chocolate cake,
• Image of food and desserts

Cappuccino bread

• With chocolate chips
• sOOO moist, melts right in your mouth
• image

Avocado Toast

• Not really avocado toast, but rich elite Columbia students need to get their elitist food fix.
• More of a sloppy mix of guac on stale deflated bread–which can be partially revived through the conveyor belt toaster that catches on fire way too often.

John Jay

Smoothies

• introduced in Spring 2020, replaced beloved bagel bar
• bagels became self serve by the ice cream machine
• common flavors offered: usually a green smoothie paired with a more fruit smoothie
• introduced paper straws. not a great combo with smoothies because they become soggy :(

Bagel Bar

• Demoted to self-serve, humbly providing smoked salmon, capers, and all the essentials for a filling meal get your money’s worth from salmon
• comes with a smattering of Philadelphia cream cheese varieties: Garden Veggie
• Iconic cream cheeses: Animal Cracker, Strawberry, Scallion, Onion, Blueberry

Coffee Machine

• Espresso Shots
• Vanilla Macchiato

Cookies

• Red Velvet, Chocolate Chip, M&M
• Easy to smuggle in the Columbia Dining coffee cups
• Best texture out of all the dining halls: gooey, slightly melty from sitting under some hot plate contraption of sorts.

Seaweed salad

• Get the seaweed salad, NOT the sushi