Fordham University

The Jesuit university for New York City. Has their main campus in The Bronx and another near Lincoln Center. Generally, the former is filled with conservative jocks and the latter with performing arts major hipsters who seem like they ought to be going to NYU or neighboring Julliard.

Fordham plays Columbia in an annual football game known as the Liberty Cup. Fordham has won the last two Liberty Cups to lead 4-3, and hence have claimed temporary bragging rights over Columbia. Neither Fordham nor Columbia students are fanatically obsessed with superfluous things like football, but since Columbia students believe that they overshadow Fordham in every other category they pretend that losing doesn't matter. I hasten to add, however, that Columbia leads Fordham 8-6 in all football games played since 1991, and by 11-6 if you care to count victories in 1972 (just after Fordham brought football back), 1902 and 1890.

If ever you feel insecure because you didn't get into Harvard or Yale, just make a snide quip about Fordham and somehow you will be instantly relieved of any doubts that it is worth the $50,000 you are paying in tuition at Columbia.

To Fordham's credit it did graduate the illustrious Vin Scully, along with many other very accomplished sportscasters. In addition, impartial outside observers tend to agree that Fordham's students are generally more attractive and better adjusted socially than the famously insecure Columbia students.