Dartmouth College

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Today: typical Dartmouth frat boy. Tomorrow: typical Dartmouth conservative alumnus coup-leader

Dartmouth College is a fellow member of the Ivy League. Like Princeton, it stands for many things Columbia cannot abide, such as a campus social life completely dominated by fraternity culture...and fresh air.

Unlike Princeton, however, Columbia students rarely take Dartmouth seriously. This is because it is located in a remote wilderness somewhere north of the tree line and is stockadaded to protect itself from ravenous moose and conservative alumni coups. Its motto - "The voice of one crying in the wilderness." - aptly summarizes what it's like to attend.