Fordham University

Local Jesuit university. Has one campus in The Bronx and another near Lincoln Center. Generally, the former is filled with conservative jocks and the latter with performing arts major hipsters who seem like they ought to be going to NYU or neighboring Julliard.

We pay good money for them to come along and get their asses whipped by our football team every year during the Liberty Cup.

If ever you feel insecure, a snide quip about Fordham will instantly relieve you of any doubts that it is worth the $50,000 you are paying in tuition at Columbia.