Fordham University

The Jesuit university for New York City. Has their main campus in The Bronx and another near Lincoln Center. Generally, the former is filled with conservative jocks and the latter with performing arts major hipsters who seem like they ought to be going to NYU or neighboring Julliard.

We pay good money to see them whip our football team's ass every year during the Liberty Cup. Fordham currently leads Columbia in the Liberty Cup series 4-3 (with Fordham winning in 2008 and 2007). Columbia leads Fordham 8-6 in all football games played since 1991, but by 11-6 if you care to count victories in 1972 (just after Fordham brought football back), 1902 and 1890.

If ever you feel insecure because you didn't get into Harvard or Yale, a snide quip about Fordham will instantly relieve you of any doubts that it is worth the $50,000 you are paying in tuition at Columbia.